When fostering and getting a placement a million different feelings surface. Excitement, nervousness, overwhelmed and sadness. I expected sadness when it came to the situation the Little was in. What I didn’t expect was the sadness I would feel for their parents.
As a foster parent I have had many feelings toward parents.
Confusion, anger and most often Compassion.
I am a mom. How do I not feel the stabbing my heart out feeling most parents must experience when their child is taken? I can’t even comprehend how they must feel.
So when I am getting them ready for bed, reading them stories, hearing their giggles, holding their little hand in mine – their Mama isn’t.
I feel the gravity of that.
I try as hard as I can to not feel threatening to their mom. I am not taking their baby. I am keeping them safe and warm for them.
It is so very important (whenever possible) to have a good relationship with mom. I say mom because that has been my experience.
When a Little one goes home it is crushing but I always feel the joy of their parents at the same time. If they can, mom and child belong together and it is a beautiful thing.
And then there are the children that stay in our home – their home –
Knowing that we are adopting the Littles that we are I feel a deep sense of sadness for so many.
For Little Devon and Ollie. These precious babies will not be raised by their biological parents. There is a loss there. An indescribable loss.
I feel heavy thinking about their parents. Their parents love them. They were fought for. They were Oh so wanted. I sometimes feel guilty that I am blessed with so many special moments with them. And in turn – their special moments with us.
I do not take this for granted.
Yes, we are their family.
Yes, they belong here always.
Yes, I would lay down my life for them.
I strongly believe in Openness. (Again, if possible)
Not only do they have this family they belong to but they also belong to another mom. Another dad.
They will know where they came from.
They will know ALL who love them.
They will know siblings and grandparents from both families.
They will know that they are special because they have 2 moms who love them. 2 dads who cherish them.
They will know just how important they are to so many people.
So when everything is signed (which is soon) we will celebrate these children because we have been given a gift. I will also be thinking of the loss for them and have compassion for all.
Then I think we will have a dance party in our livingroom.
Cause that’s how we roll.