I have a confession.
Alcohol helps with my anxiety. In the moment it calms my nerves and it calms my mind. No longer am I jumping from one thought to the next. The dread eases. I relax.
3 years ago I started on medication for anxiety. Something I didn’t know I had until I was pregnant for my 3yo son. I thought I was going crazy. In a way I was.
I suffered greatly for about a year. Being pregnant I couldn’t go on the medication I needed. My meds got sorted out and I often have anxiety in the background – reminding me that it is still there…waiting.
Maybe about 6 months ago I started having wine at night. Young ones are in bed, cozy up to my book and have some wine. No harm right? I mean, half the world does it or at least talks about it. Meme’s show a tired, disheveled mom with a glass of wine like it will save them.
Many people drink and I will on occasion as well. Nothing wrong with that but it is when it starts to become a crutch. It’s a get.me.through.this.day so I can have my wine. It’s a band-aid.
I don’t think this is a problem for all but it was becoming a problem for me. I didn’t drink a lot but had had it almost every night and I looked forward to it.
I was what they call self-medicating.
Drinking can be a slippery slope. For anyone. Not just someone with anxiety like me.
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WANTING TO UNWIND AND TRYING TO ESCAPE.
I am a Christian and this next part is from my point of view.
Ephesians 5:18 says – Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to reckless indiscretion. (Relax! No reckless indiscretion’s here! Not at this age anyway. lol) Instead, be filled with the Spirit.
And this is how I feel. If I am drinking almost every night to numb my mind so I can relax how will I have a relationship with the Spirit during that time? How can God help me if I am helping myself?
So instead of those glasses of wine I am turning to my Bible and reading. I am finding that this is a more genuine calm. It’s Real.
There are so many things you can do to help with your anxiety –
Medication (Clearly I needed it!)
It is so incredibly easy to turn to drinking or drugs to just get ONE second of calm. ONE second of “normal”. ONE second of You.
It is temporary. You will need more to get that feeling again and that is the problem.
I know anxiety is hard. I know anxiety is lonely. I do.
For whoever needs to read this-
Self-medicating is not the answer. It becomes part of the problem.